Toxic Relationships: Filling The Void

You have it in your power to make your days on Earth a path of flowers, instead of a path of thorns.
— Sri Sathya Sai Baba

You’ve kicked the drama, ready to rock -n- roll and get your life together? After reading the first 2 parts of this Toxic Relationship series {Click Here for Part 1} you’re on a high at just the thought of living your life to the fullest. But, for once you have no idea what to do with yourself, or all that new free time. When ending or working to end a toxic relationship its important to supplement that time you spent wasting on things that actually aid you in your self-awareness and growth. You MUST fill this time with things that give you a peace of mind, rebuild your spirit and lift you to another level. If you don’t, you will go back to the same habits and drama and will break back into pieces. You will answer the calls, emails, take on the extra work, pick up the tab etc. You’ve got to nurture your inner being.

What worked for me was a mixture (because I get bored easily and I was pretty broken) of Yoga, painting (my apartment), and inspirational books/podcast on constant repeat. I had to continually saturate my mind with things that were better for me in the long run. Now, don’t be misled there were triggers: songs, emails, texts, calls, event invitations, etc that reminded me of said person or made me want to reach out to them. There were times that my heart ached a lot, however, when I would refer to the list I made whether the written or mental version, I was reminded about all the pain, heartache and/or DRAMA they caused, and the reminder of what I allowed to happen. That was enough for me to tell myself Bitch, You’re Trying It. This will be a daily battle because you’re breaking habits that took time to create. Take your time with the growth process. It is a day by day, minute by minute, in some cases second by second journey.

The purpose of pursuing new activities is to set your mind on the right things, on Godly things, on good things, on fruitful things for your mind and spirit. To break free of limiting beliefs and patterns and set a new course for your life. You’ve ran the rat race, won the goal for mediocrity, Hooray! In order to silence the critic in your mind that tells you everything you can’t do, forge a new relationship with yourself, your highest self, the part of you that’s been neglected. The part that you know is inside of you. That wants to do better, reach higher, and live happily. Use this time to prepare for the new job, home, new life you want and fill your time with activities that enrich your life instead of making you question why you were put here. 

The bonus, is that you will learn something new, meet new people, and overall attempt something that will give you a boost of confidence just because you tried. I promise engaging in a 1 or 2 new activities that simply interest you will set off a domino effect and you’ll want to TRY, DO, and ATTEMPT new things more often. The thrill of seeking out new experiences will excite you and motivate you to do more! It will also motivate those around you to live their lives more fully in seeing you have the courage to live your life to the fullest.

{Related} Part 1: Toxic Relationships: Are You in One, or Several?

Now, money makes the world go round, if money is an issue, trust that a door will open. I didn’t have the money but I knew I wanted to get into Yoga. I swear when you’re on the path God opens up doors! A new Yoga studio opened up in my neighborhood and they were advertising a 2 week, unlimited trial for $20 I JUMPED at it. Those 2 weeks were breakthroughs and my body felt great. Loose, fluid, and my mind was clear. In that 60 mins I wasn’t thinking about my finances or car issues, my ex. or my “friends” that were weighing me down. I felt good. I felt focused. My body felt good, my mind felt free, I was in sync with myself. It was a long time coming. The added bonus, everywhere I went someone was complimenting my glowing skin and lean body! #winning Now if you don’t have any money to spare, consider exchanging your time. After the trial was over I found out the studio offered work/study. One 5 hour commitment of work/study got me 1 week, unlimited gym time. I’d been a fool to not take advantage of a major self-care opportunity.

{Catch Up} 

Part 1: Toxic Relationships: Are You in One, or Several?

Part 2: Toxic Relationships: How To Detach

Remember, sharing is caring. If you found this post helpful please share this post among your social networks. Tomorrow I'll share a new 3 part series on confidence. Assessing where you are, and laying the foundation to get where you want to be!